Dreamwork’s “The Boss Baby” Is The Nightmare That Should Have Never Been Conceived

By Scott Kurland

Film: The Boss Baby

Starring: Alec Baldwin, Steve Buscemi, Jimmy Kimmel, Lisa Kudrow, Tobey Maguire, and Miles Christopher Bakshi

Rated PG

Director: Tom McGrath

                Sometimes Hollywood gives us some horrible things; horrible, awful things that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Usually, Michael Bay has the honor of inflicting that sort of pain. But every once in a while, Dreamworks Animation Studios does that to us. “Shark Tales,” “Home,” and “Over The Hedge” are all up there. Sadly, none of those three holds a candle to this week’s film “The Boss Baby.” Yes, it’s going to be one of those reviews. I hate this film. I know that’s a harsh, but you didn’t have to sit through this animated hellscape...at least I hope you didn't. Now, let’s rip this film apart shall we?

  “The Boss Baby” is the story of Tim Templeton (Miles Christopher Bakshi), a young boy who is living the perfect life as the sole recipient of his parents love and attention (Kimmel and Kudrow). All that changes when Tim gets a new brother the boss baby (Alec Baldwin). This diapered Jack Donaghy is actually a middle manager from Baby Corp sent to infiltrate the Templeton's because Tim’s parents work for Puppy Co. Puppy Co. is run by Francis Francis (Steve Buscemi) who knows of Baby Corp. and is on the verge of developing a product that will crush the competition. Now the boss baby and Tim must work togetherto-honestly, it doesn’t matter, the resolution is ridiculous.

   I’m wondering what the pitch for this movie was. “Hey, you know what kids love? David Mamet’s Glen Garry Glen Ross, Mad Men, and the music of Burt Bacharach.” Also there’s a lot of jokes about baby butts and farts, because according to Dreamworks, thats what kids find funny. This film is pure garbage. It’s a mean spirited movie that hates its audience. It talks down to the parents and children. There’s also no likable character in the movie. Alec Baldwin’s character is just an evil, infant version of his character from “30 Rock.” He could literally say "Lemon" at the end of every sentence to his brother and you would think he’s just talking to Tina Fey off-screen. The kid is obnoxious, the parents are morons and there’s only one laugh in the movie.

                Tom McGrath is the Dreamworks version of John Lasseter if John Lasseter pitched “Cars” every single time. At least Lasseter knows when to say no more “Cars” movies. McGrath keeps making bad choices. “Megamind” is alright, but “Madagascar” is only "meh". Nothing makes sense in this film. The resolution is rushed, only to have the movie end SEVEN TIMES. What is supposed to be a ninety-seven minute movie easily feels like two hours. Adding multiple endings is just the cherry on top of the crap sundae that is this film.

                Don’t ever see this film. Don’t see it in theaters and don’t rent it. If it’s playing on an airplane, put in your earbuds and let the turbulence rock you to sleep. This might be the worst animated film I have ever seen in my life. “The Boss Baby” is a poorly made feature film with grotesque-looking animation and no sense of creativity.


scott kurlandComment